We recently spent a fun day at a San Diego science museum. Can you spot the typo in the second photo?
And this is such a good exercise. When you read the sentence from the first photo, how many "Fs" can you find? I had to question my copyeditor credentials after getting an "F" myself on this!

Highlights contract!

I received a contract today for my article for Highlights' Gallant Kids feature. It's about a couple of Girl Scouts who made fleece blankets for the seals and sea lions at the Pacific Marine Mammal Center. I don't have any clue when it might be published, but I'm thrilled they accepted it.

A nice surprise from SCBWI conference

I attended a fun Editors' Day today for the Orange County/San Bernardino/Riverside chapters of SCBWI. And I won second place for my new middle grade WIP, MY MOM LOVES ALL THE OTHER BROWNIES MORE THAN ME. It was a complete surprise and will motivate me to work on some new chapters.

New writing job

I'm thrilled to start a new freelance job working for an educational publisher. It's going to be a wonderful opportunity to use both writing and editing skills in a fun, non-fiction format. What's especially nice is that this project targets second and third-graders so my daughter can be my own personal test market. I start tomorrow... I'm so looking forward to it!

Vote for the best dog ever!

I don't think the link below his name works, but go to www.ocregister.com to vote for DD, cutest dog in Orange County!

Vacation pictures/fun quiz

I haven't posted for a month and here's part of the reason why... an amazing vacation in the Grand Tetons and Yellowstone.


I stumbled across this quiz and loved it... great fun! http://www.hello
izzy.com/tests/the-commonly-confused-words-test
And I admit that I was stunned to miss one question (faze/phase.) I love that I learned the correct spelling of a word I didn't even realize I'd misspelled!

NYT article on literacy and the internet

A very interesting story in The New York Times this morning about literacy and the effects of teenagers' doing so much of their reading on the internet. I've included a portion I found particularly disturbing. (Though it's somewhat ironic that I only read the Times on-line now.)

Literacy Debate: Online, R U Really Reading?

Last fall the National Endowment for the Arts issued a sobering report linking flat or declining national reading test scores among teenagers with the slump in the proportion of adolescents who said they read for fun.

According to Department of Education data cited in the report, just over a fifth of 17-year-olds said they read almost every day for fun in 2004, down from nearly a third in 1984. Nineteen percent of 17-year-olds said they never or hardly ever read for fun in 2004, up from 9 percent in 1984. (It was unclear whether they thought of what they did on the Internet as “reading.”)

“Whatever the benefits of newer electronic media,” Dana Gioia, the chairman of the N.E.A., wrote in the report’s introduction, “they provide no measurable substitute for the intellectual and personal development initiated and sustained by frequent reading.”

Writing Tips

I've published some tips on how to become a better writer, originally published in Writers' Digest magazine. They're on my website at www.secondsetofeyes.com. I think I need to create a permanent page for the tips because they provide the simplest and most concise guide I've seen.

An update... Oso Grande recognized the "great" typo after several weeks of it being there, and it's now fixed.

Not so "great"

Ouch! The educational system in this country definitely needs reform! (And I'm very sorry to say this is my daughter's school.)

More pictures

Here are a couple more photos from our vacation, just because they're so beautiful. The one on the top is from Echo Lake again. The one on the bottom is from the American River, near Strawberry.

Not everyone should work as a copyeditor...

Would you hire this person as a copyeditor or proofreader? (Name deleted to protect the not-so-innocent.)

From craigslist:

Hi there! My name is ------ and I am offering my services as an editor/proofreader. I have 5 years of experience in the editing field and have a true passion for and command of the English language. My prices are extremely competitive and my turn-around time is lightning fast. I work from home, so I have no distractions and can focus completely on the task at hand. I realize that some documents entrusted to me might be highly sensitive. I can assure you, as I have an extensive medical and legal background, your documents will be treated with strict discression.

So, if you need professional assistance with ANYTHING English, this includes tutoring, just email me. I would love to work for you!

A vacation from writing

We just spent a wonderful week at Tahoe and other parts of the Sierra. I thought I'd do lots of writing, but realized what I really needed was to relax, be with family, and rejuvenate. I've posted a couple of photos from Echo Lake, my favorite spot in the world, but may post other Sierra vacation pictures from time to time, just because seeing them makes me happy.

Typo Eradication Advancement League!

Aren't these pictures great? They're from a blog written by a fellow Dartmouth alum named Jeff Deck. He traveled the country for months to find and fix typographical articles. He and his friends call themselves the Typo Eradication Advancement League (TEAL). His website is www.jeffdeck/com/teal.

I also just read the following: Yay!


NEW YORK - The online hangout Facebook is getting more serious about grammar. No more should users see jarringly incorrect declarations such as "Debbie changed their profile picture."


Users who haven't specified their gender in their Facebook profiles will be asked to do so in the coming weeks. That way, Facebook doesn't have to default to "their" or the made-up word "themself," as it had been doing.

Writing retreat!

I'm back from the most wonderful writing retreat weekend with my talented writing partner, Tracy Walton. We holed up in a hotel that was midway between our homes. Other than splitting a bottle of wine in the evening, we did little but WRITE. No distractions and someone I respect to bounce ideas off of right there. It was heaven! Highlights has requested revisions on a non-fiction article, so I worked on that, spent some time on my MG novel, brainstormed plot points for my chapter book and wrote another chapter for it. The only sad part is that Tracy is moving to Florida and I'll miss her terribly. But I'm so happy we had a chance to get together in person and will continue to be writing partners on-line.

Realtor website errors

How would you like to be represented by a real estate agent who has this listed on his/her website? ( haven't even tried to highlight all the punctuation errors.)

Ladera Ranch California is located just south of the incorporated city of Mission Viejo, and is just 2 miles east of Highway 5 along Crown Valley Parkway. Ladera Ranch is an easy commute by car or train to the Irvine and Los Angels job centers. People are attracted to Ladera Ranch due it's unique design and community feel that reminds many residents of simpler times where neighbors walked to and met at the local town center. Ladera is a new master planned self-contained community surrounded by 1,700 acres of rustic hills, lush landscaping and orchards. It broke ground in 1999 with it's first village called Oak Knoll. Now, Ladera Ranch consists of 8 Villages comprising of about 8,100 homes and condos, including 4 apartment communities, and 3 retirement facilities.

Ladera Ranch CA award wining residential architectures incorporate a blend of attached condominiums and detached single family homes. From efficient 1 bedroom, 1 bath condos, up to 6 bedroom, 5 bath, 5,000 square foot estates, and everything in between... one kind find most any property to meet their needs and wants in Ladera Ranch. Please visit the rest of this website to learn more about Ladera Ranch Calif., it's Villages and the ground breaking community amenities. To learn more about detached single family homes, visit: Ladera Ranch Homes. To find out about attached condominiums, visit: Ladera Ranch Condos.

This is from the website of a group of five well-known agents. The rest of the site is similarly embarrassing. (Even the email auto-reply has an error: "Your inquiry has been received and will be responded too promptly.") What does this say about how much (or how little) care an agent might take on contracts worth hundreds of thousands or millions of dollars? And why on earth would agents not hire a reputable copyeditor to look at their site? In this kind of devastating real estate market, it seems incredibly foolish.

An 8-year-old copyeditor?/Lose vs. Loose

My daughter, who's in second grade, has all the makings of a natural copyeditor. She was outraged recently when a grammar page at school read, "I ate a cookie for "desert." She alerted her teacher, who said she would write the textbook publisher.

Another spelling mistake that's very common, but I can't figure out why: writing "loose" (as in, not tight) when the writer actually means "lose" (as in, not win.) I saw it in instructions in a new badminton set today.

Children's names in stories

I've been busy with a new client for the past week, and realized I hadn't blogged for a while. Something that struck me as I was critiquing/editing some work of children's writers recently ---the frequent use of names that were popular in the 50's, 60's or even 70's, but that parents almost never name their children now. Examples I've seen include Cindy (plenty of Sydneys out there, but no Cindys anymore, thank goodness. What were my parents thinking?), Susie, Larry, Lynn, Laura and Tommy (though there are plenty of Thomases.) Names like Devin, Aiden, Conrad, Kylie, Mackenzie, Jayden, Peyton, Nolan, Sterling, Trinity, Kaz, Carson, Sierra, Myka, Elijah, Marshall, Holland, Graham and Spencer are the norm these days. (Most of these I grabbed directly out of our elementary school's directory.) When I see a story with characters who have outdated names, I tend to think the writer is rather disconnected from children. Often the writer may be somewhat older and unaware of current naming trends. But there's an easy fix---you can go to any of the zillion baby naming sites and find out the most popular 100, or 1000, names of any given year. That way you'll choose names for your characters that sound fresh and modern and won't make you seem out of touch.

A Crooked Kind of Perfect

I finished this middle grade novel by Linda Urban today and just loved it. It's such an interesting, unusual story of a girl who wants to be a classical pianist, but winds up with an organ instead, thanks to her eccentric, agoraphobic father. Every word felt true to me... it made me both laugh and cry, my favorite kind of book.

Lay vs. laid

I have a very concise and simple explanation of this on my website now. But I happened to notice this at the bottom of an AP news article today:

(This version CORRECTS to `lay' from 'laid' in graf 2. )
It shows what a common mistake is it to use "laid" when someone actually means "lay."

Wee Ones story

Here's the link to my story in this month's issue: http://www.weeonesmag.com/weeones/feature3.html

The check's in the mail!

I opened the mailbox today and received a nice surprise-- a check from Wee Ones magazine for a story that's being published in their May edition. The story is called "What's in a Name," and I wrote it more than two years ago. I'll post the link to it when the new edition is up.

What a great week!

I haven't had this productive of a week in a long time, at least when it comes to my writing. How wonderful to be relatively free of outside commitments for a change! I did interviews for a "Gallant Kids" feature for Highlights and wrote the article today, I wrote another Highlights non-fiction article based on an interview I did a year ago, and I finished tweaking a humorous picture book on the same topic. A great week... yay!

Copyediting for Stories for Children magazine,

For the next couple of months, I'm helping Stories for Children online magazine with copyediting, until they find someone who can do the job longterm. It was a lot of fun proofreading the different stories and articles this morning. There are so many talented children's writers! And SFC is an excellent online magazine for children, as well as a great market for writers. Here's a link to their site: www.storiesforchildren.tripod.com.
One error I noticed in two separate stories, misusing the word "laid" for "lay." I'll try to clear up the confusion in my website's "Writing Tip of the Month." The site is www.secondsetofeyes.com.

"My Beautiful Mommy"

This is a link to a self-published book that Newsweek is giving a lot of attention to: My Beautiful Mommy. It's written by a plastic surgeon for kids whose moms who are getting boob jobs and tummy tucks. My own tummy is feeling pretty nauseated right now ... As Editorial Anonymous says, the book makes you feel like sparkly pink spiders are crawling on your skin.
http://www.newsweek.com/id/132536

Tag, you're it!

I was tagged by Rachel.
Here are my sentences:
"He could no more explain why his life had turned bad than he could explain why his life had been so good up to that point. Did he choose to grow up in a stable family? Did he have control over where he was born, when he was born, or to whom he was born?"
This is from A Grace Disguised, How the Soul Grows Through Loss, by Jerry Sittser.
(It's excellent by the way.)

SCBWI spring conference

Angelle Pilkington, an editor with the Penguin imprint Puffin Speak, spoke about the reasons 90 percent of "slush pile" manuscripts are rejected outright.

Top 5 Reasons:

1. It doesn’t fit the list. For example, it’s too institutional for paperback or too similar to what’s already on the list. That’s why it’s so important for writers to do their research first. Check Publishers Marketplace online on a regular basis because that gives clues to what an editor wants.
2. There’s too much like what you’ve written already out in the market.
   
3. There’s no hook—no commercial appeal. It must have marketing/promotional potential. You should be able to sum your book up in a sentence that’s going to grab people, especially in paperback. It needs broad appeal.
4. Characterization doesn’t have enough depth. Characters must grow, and must have appeal. They must be age appropriate and have natural dialogue.
5. The writing just isn’t there. Don’t have time to mentor and guide a writer even if the story itself has potential.

Nothing she said was startling, but I still thought this was a helpful list.

I cleared my whole day (well, practically the whole day) for writing. I finished writing the first draft of a fact-based nature picture book that's been in the making for a year. I conducted interviews last April, so it feels wonderful to have finally used that information. I plan to do a separate, and very different, version for a Highlights non-fiction article.

SCBWI spring conference

I'm going to post some notes from the editors' speeches at the Orange County SCBWI conference last week in Temecula. I'll start with an excellent talk by Stacy Cantor, editor with Walker Books for Young Readers.
She focused on picture books, and discussed how essential it is, in a story of 500 words or fewer, to make sure each one is exactly the right word. She had some fun examples from the first draft of Where the Wild Things Are, which was originally called Where the Wild Horses Are. What a powerful change just in that single word in the title (prompted, I believe, by Maurice Sendak's inability to draw horses. But whatever the reason, it changed the whole tone of the story.)
Cantor also handed out all of the drafts of and editorial notes for a charming picture book called Chicks and Salsa, written by Aaron Reynolds and published by Bloomsbury. It was a fascinating peek into the working relationship between an author and an editor, as well as a lesson about how critical revision is.
Finally, she listed five "rules" for picture books:

1. If you’re going to use repetition, make sure it’s there for a good reason and doesn’t talk down to your readers.
2. Introduce your main character and main conflict right from the beginning.
3. Each sentence you write must, in a very clear way, further the story.
4. With every step and with every word, you must be thinking about your PB illustrations. They should tell about 50 percent of the story.
5. They must be kept in childlike situations. Be thinking like a child and never forget who your audience is. What concerns do they have? What feelings do they have?

These are all fairly basic points, but ones that picture book writers ignore often. The next time I revise a PB text, I plan to go through each of these points to make sure I've adhered to them.

"Lets Play Two"

Poor Ernie Banks. The statue designed as a tribute to him and his famous slogan became infamous immediately for what it was lacking: an apostrophe.

The Cubs quickly fixed the error, thanks to all the amateur copyeditors out there.

Writing tips on www.SecondSetofEyes.com

I've posted a new writing tip, explaining the difference between active and passive voice. It's an issue that confuses many people, but is vital to strong, clear writing. Here's the link to my home page: www.secondsetofeyes.com.

San Diego SCBWI conference

On March 8th, I attended the SCBWI's annual Editors and Agents Day in San Diego. Local agent Kelly Sonnack, of the Sandra Dijkstra Agency, was impressive, both articulate and forthright. In the First Pages' critiques, her editorial comments were dead-on every time.
Andrea Welch, editor with Harcourt Children's Books, discussed the editor-author relationship, and talked about what she looks for in a manuscript. She said every book must have an essential story, or heart, and that emotional content is the main reason a parent and child will return to a book again and again. She also emphasized that humor and heart should go hand in hand. She looks for a story that is both funny and emotionally engaging. When reading a submission, she asks herself what the essential, universal story is that underlines the manuscript.

Short story in March issue

A story that I'm very fond of, STOP the Sign, is in this month's edition of Stories for Children magazine, http://storiesforchildren.tripod.com.
This was the very first story I ever wrote for children, after my first SCBWI conference. It's been revised quite a bit since then, and I had originally planned for it to be a picture book. And though it's not the type of story I'd write now, I'm glad it's found a home and hope online readers will enjoy it.

Story picked for anthology/Author visit

I had some good news yesterday. My story "The Store Detective" was selected for a "Best of 2007" anthology by Stories for Children magazine. My critique partner, Rachel, also had a story chosen. Yay for us!

My daughter's school had an absolutely wonderful visit yesterday from Stacia Deutsch, co-author of the Blast to the Past series. I'd worked on arrangements for this visit since October, so was thrilled to find that she was such an energetic, engaged speaker. The older kids learned more about the writing/publishing/editing process. The younger kids played "Fact or Fiction Detectives" to try to figure out which was which in certain parts of her book about Abraham Lincoln. A smart kid figured out that Lincoln wouldn't actually have said, "Awesome!" when he received good news about the Civil War, as was originally written. The word was changed to "bully" in the book. The kids were interested to hear that "bully" had a completely different meaning many years ago. And they loved hearing facts about Lincoln that they didn't know (and neither did the adults). For example, Lincoln had a pet turkey and his son loved puppets so much that one room of the White House was made into a puppet theater. The White House, by the way, used to be called the Presidential Palace.

Media missteps

Viewed today on KNBC's morning show (Los Angeles, market #2): "arriagnment." Seen today on CNN: "apolgized." This type of sloppiness, though common and often the fault of the production department, lessens the credibility of a news department. I think it's fair to raise this issue -- if a station is careless about spelling, what else is it careless about? Facts? (As a former member of the media, I believe these types of mistakes are avoidable with a good set of checks and balances, and that's why they're worrisome when they happen.)

Writing tip of the week

Super Tuesday! And for once, California's votes count -- a lot! It was thrilling to vote this morning. I can't remember the last time I felt so inspired and energized by a presidential election.

On my website, www.secondsetofeyes.com,
I've added a "Writing Tip of the Month." Sometimes it will be common grammar or spelling errors that people make. Other times I'll feature simple ways for people to improve their writing. When I worked in television news, I used to love to work with young producers and help teach them how to write tighter, more clearly, and more effectively. My website will give me a chance to do this in a different way.

Done!

19 chapters, 13,600 words, and my first draft is complete. I feel drained, but good.

One more chapter ...

Chapter 17 is now done with one final chapter to go. The book is turning out longer than I expected (it will probably be about 12,000 words) but I feel good about it. My first reader (AKA my husband) accused me of "jumping the shark" in chapter 16 and I went back and he was absolutely right... I toned down some of the purple prose.

I continue to fight exhaustion and a stubborn cough. I felt silly going to the doctor a week after I'd had the flu, but I couldn't deal with the feeling in my chest anymore. It's apparently just short of pneumonia so I came home with an inhaler, antibiotics, and heavy duty cough syrup with codeine that's making me feel quite loopy right now.

Agent Nathan Bransford's First Pages' contest has been fascinating. I've enjoyed reading some of the 675 entries, but my eyes quickly glaze over if I read for long. It gives you an appreciation of what agents must go through. The entries that start with extreme violence or action that comes with no context are a huge turnoff to me, partly, I suppose, because my taste normally runs to literary fiction. I definitely find myself drawn to many of the MG and YA entries. It will be interesting to see who winds up winning!

Meantime, I have a new copyediting client that promises some very interesting work. It's scheduled to start later next week, so I'm certainly hoping I'll be feeling better by then.

Writing

Chapter 11 is done, but every word was a struggle. All this week I've been fighting fever and flu, all the while trying to sandwich in tons of work for various Girl Scout and PTA projects.
This afternoon I finally felt well enough and had enough time to write. But I almost quit because I questioned every word I put down. I'm usually such a fast writer that this was a new and painful experience for me.

I also discovered I have to write a one-page synopsis for a conference I'm attending in March. The deadline is tomorrow. I've never written a synopsis before because one was never required for picture books. I thought it would be hard to come up with enough material for a full page, but boy was I wrong! I'm a few lines over and wondering if it's cheating to make it single space.

Argh! Too much going on right now... and too few coherent, not flu-ish moments to deal with them. I'm looking forward to a quiet, feeling-better, and time-to-write weekend.

Wonderful chapter books

I've been reading a lot of different chapter books lately since I've started one of my own (or perhaps mine would be more accurately called a younger middle grade book). I was at the hairdresser on Friday and started to cry as I finished a lovely book called "Ark in the Park." My hairdresser is Iranian and didn't understand that it was the book, not the chemicals all over my head, causing it. I've also absolutely loved "Clementine," "The Legend of the Worst Boy in the World," "Ivy and Bean," and "Marvin Redpost, Super Fast." Each has a distinct voice that rings completely true.
I also just finished "13 Reasons Why," a YA book by Jay Asher. It's not a genre I normally read, though I was completely blown away by "The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-time Indian" recently. It deserves every bit of recognition it's received. I felt much more mixed about "13 Reasons Why." Though I literally couldn't put it down until I finished and thought it was fascinating how the various characters connected, I felt as if I never fully knew the central Hannah character (despite her dictating the tapes). The blame aspect was bothersome too. But I did love the ending with its message of hope and second chances.
I've finished chapter nine of my book -- about 7,000 words -- but have reached the part that's going to be the most difficult to write. I haven't completely worked out in my own mind how to resolve a central problem. I've never been a good outline writer, whether it's for an academic paper, journalism, or children's writing. I tend to have a broad idea of where I'm going and work out (and change) details as I write. But I get nervous when I'm this fuzzy about some central issues!

Writing groups

I had a gloriously free morning to write, after an early run in this amazing January sunshine. It's in the 80's right now, with just a hint of an ocean breeze to cool things off. Having spent winters in New Hampshire, Connecticut, Iowa, Lake Tahoe, and Eastern Washington, I greatly appreciate days like these.

But I digress. I wanted to write today about critique groups because I'm so in love with both of mine. I spent time revising the first few chapters of my new book, following some very helpful and thoughtful comments from my small middle grade writers' group. I truly believe the philosophy behind my copyediting business -- that everyone needs a second set of eyes. And at times a third, fourth, or fifth set of eyes as well. I wonder about writers who are able to work completely on their own, without feedback from peers. Though it took me several months to have the courage to join a group after I started writing for children, I soon learned how invaluable it was. I tend to be someone who does everything very quickly, including writing, and early on rushed off manuscripts before they were ready. Critique groups help slow me down. That alone is tremendously helpful to me.

I don't know if I'm in the minority or not on this, but I love to revise. I love the process of making something instantly and tangibly better. It's one of the most satisfying parts of writing to me.

Writing and fun time waster

I'm up to about 4,000 words on my chapter book. I haven't had this much fun writing something in a long time. For a while yesterday, I started obsessing over word count, readability levels, length of sentences, vocabulary, and all sorts of issues that diverted from the actual writing. Today I stopped worrying so much and instead focused on writing the best story I can. Not surprisingly, it came much easier.

When I need a quick break from writing, I generally do one of two things. First, I check the "Blue Board" (www.verlakay.com), simply the best site for comprehensive information and support for children's writers. And I also may play a few games of Web Boggle. A new game begins every three minutes, and it's truly addicting. I try to limit myself to three games because I enjoy it so much I could play all day (and truly waste a lot of time).

OK, this time this was my break. Back to writing.

My 2008 resolution

In addition to resolving not to bake seven different types of Christmas cookies next year, I resolve to finish writing my chapter book. I'm only 1,000 words into it, so I have a long way to go. But I'm excited and motivated about taking on a new writing challenge. And I tend to take New Year's resolutions seriously. Time to get to work.

Also, now that it's January, I can send off my first Highlights' fiction contest entry. I'll wait a week or so before sending the second story off, so I don't deluge them right away.